Building Stronger Relationships

Providing relationship counseling in Pacific Heights

Let me Show you how


You’re here because you’re worried about the future of your relationship. You’ve been getting stuck in the same argument over and over and can’t get yourselves out.

You might be asking if you and your partner are meant to be or if it’s supposed to be this hard. Maybe something devastating has already happened.

You need an experienced, professional neutral party to help you through this!

You have genuinely tried to change the conversation, but it hasn’t worked.

There will be a point when applying new tools no longer feels unnatural. You will turn toward your partner and get it right! Your partner immediately softens because they know they can trust you, that you care and know them.

Here’s how I can help:

• I teach you communication tools on steroids.
• I hold the target in front of you so you can hit it.
• I provide a third-party perspective AND help you to find your own new perspective on what’s been happening.
• We map out the argument so you know when and how to stop it. This way you can see the target without me there.
• We capitalize on your strengths and celebrate your successes.

There is a point when applying these new tools no longer feels unnatural. You start turning toward your partner and getting it right! Your partner immediately softens because they know they can trust you, that you care and know them.

You both feel deeply understood and respected. You are working together as a team. This is different from when you first met, but it’s even more meaningful because you have worked for it and you know each other more deeply.

Make your relationships stronger


Meet Alexis Monnier

For A Phone Consultation

Please contact me by phone at

I’d like to share a story with you as an example of what’s possible when a couple commits to creating meaningful and lasting change. This story is a composite of the journey traveled by many clients who have come to me for couples therapy.

Mike and Beth reached out because they kept running into arguments that they couldn’t resolve on their own. They were avoiding conversations that might lead to a blowup. They were growing more and more dissatisfied and resentful.

Mike and Beth had to make a decision to make:

Would they invest more deeply in their relationship, or would they break up?

The clock was ticking.

They loved each other and wanted to give their relationship a fighting chance, so they decided to start couples counseling.

When Mike and Beth walked in the door, their fear was palpable.

• Would they lose the person they love and have to start all over?
• If relationships are “right,” shouldn’t they be easy?
• Were they right for each other?
• Can it be like it was in the beginning?

They sat in front of me blaming each other and convincing me to help their partner change.

I didn’t let this go on for long. Instead, we took some deep breaths and started talking about what had been happening in their relationship:

• What were they hoping to get from each other?
• What’s getting in the way of feeling close?
• Why did conversations escalate?
• AND, most importantly, what to do about it!?

What they discovered surprised them.

Beth believed Mike didn’t value what she had to say. She told him how to do it right and how he got it wrong, resulting in him feeling beat down. A wise part of her just wanted to feel that he valued her opinion.

Mike genuinely tried to be there for Beth. Hoping to sooth her, he shared advice and logical ways to look at things but this resulted in Beth feeling her emotions weren’t welcome. A very wise part of him just wanted to feel like an effective partner.

They both wanted closeness, but their good intentions didn’t actually create the connection they craved! They didn’t have the knowledge and communication skills to change the pattern.

Without help, patterns like this can easily result in divorce.

We mapped out the pattern they were stuck in and found key points to intervene. They could see where changes were needed, and we worked toward solutions.

Mike and Beth practiced communication tools at home and found ways to make them their own. Their “time out” cue became this funny, silly dance that made them both break out in laughter.

Beth learned ways of making requests and appreciating what Mike brought to the relationship, which helped Mike feel loved and important.

Mike learned ways to validate Beth’s emotions without feeling like he was getting pulled into them. This left Beth feeling relaxed, loved, and confident that she had a solid partner.

Their relationship was deep and vibrant, even better than in the beginning. Every couple wanted to be them.

You are here because you see signs that your relationship is in danger.

It can change for the better.

The first step is to call or email me for a free 20-minute consultation.

Individual Therapy

You deserve a great life! You would like to live a congruent life with less struggle,

Read More

Couples Therapy

I am deeply passionate about helping couples find ease and joy in relationship.

Read More